I am obese with 90 pounds to lose.
I have repeated the same pattern the last 4 years of my life. It happens in 3 acts.
Act 1
January I get pissed at myself that I have gained weight through the holidays. I learn to forgive myself and I recommit myself.
Act 2
Feburary thought August
2 steps forward 1 step back. But weight comes off slowly. I do well for a week or two and then when I see success I “treat” myself to ice cream or some shit by telling myself I earned it. I earned it when I still look like this?
Act 3
Septmeber through December
I say fuck it. I accept bad self talk and give up. I tried hard and I am the same I have been for years, I tell myself. Enjoy the holidays and we can look at getting this going again.
I lose 20 pounds.
I gain 20 pounds.
2020 – 2021
This year I did a little something different. With COVID and my Gold Gym being closed, I took to Youtube looking for workouts I could do at home and I found JT Texieria of Body Weight Strength
I also joined his community on discord via patreon.
I also decided to experiment with carnivore diet.
- Beef
- Seafood – Oysters, Shrimp, Sardines etc
- Eggs
- Bacon (limited)
- Coffee (black) + Tea (hot and iced)
- Avocado – with my sardines
I was successful.
So what happened?
I slowly started to go back to old eating habits. The difference this time was I never said “fuck it” I would reset.
On an asside resetting and starting again can be seen as a postive – the “Never Give up!” Good for you!. But reseting and then feeling that you know in 3 days there is an event you have to go to and that you might break etc. It wears you down.
Lesson #1 is that you must be honest with yourself. That is why I take pictures like these with my shirt off. I need to face myself. I assure you in my minds eye – I do not look that fat. In fact in todays FAT America – I look around and I am pretty normal.
Long and Short
Jan 1, 2021 my weight was 256 pounds.
Jul 1, 2021 my weight was 258 pounds.
I broke the cycle.
So now what?
To be honest, I had a small melt down yesterday. I had pitty party for myself “I will never be appropriate weight and strong. Just say fuck it.”
But the next day, I faced facts, and set my resolve. Again.
Lesson #2 No one is coming to save me. It is me vs myself each day. Each Hour. Each Minute.
Opportunity is here.
I am going to get this journey done and if you care to follow along – I am going to document my progress here.
My moto is showing not telling.
If you have questions, email me and ask. But recommendations? I do not have much to offer. Follow along and see what I do and if it might work for you.
It is my hope that my journey might inspire someone to start theirs.
Thank you for reading. Terry
